You will ALWAYS get cat-called.
There’s some weird man-man-man chest-beaty thing that stops asshole cat-callers from cat-calling you when you’re with a dude (not all the time, but most of the time). I’ve walked down the same street, past the same cat callers, on the same day, the first time without a dude, the second time with one, and been cat called by them only when alone. While it would be a dream to rid the streets of cat-calling forever, a temporary “bandaid” seems to be “get a boyfriend” which as I type it, I realize how STUPID it sounds and bleak it all really is. hahaha
As a woman I ALREADY can’t go out by myself at night. I can’t smile or make eye contact with others while walking down the street without worrying that it will lead to men approaching me. I can’t put my drink down at a party, I can’t wear a short skirt, I can’t nod off on the subway, I can’t even be NICE to a guy without the thought of “don’t make him think you’re leading him on, he might think you ‘owe’ him later”. SIGH. Life’s a lot harder after midnight specially for us, ladies.
This thought made me remember why I really, really like the naturally (not the forced one, you know the kind that fronts their gentle acts, just so they can fit themselves to the norms) protective and caring kind of male species. #justsaying
I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything in the past two weeks. Worse? I don’t even know why. Oh wait. Maybe I really do. yeah. Perhaps because, lately, I practiced the idea of being neutral, emotionally. Because when I write, my mind is always on one end of the extremes, either I’m too positive or otherwise. I found the neutrality boring.
These days, I feel like I have so much work to do. Paint-guitar-piano-exercise-cook-read books-clean room-apply for a job- dance- blog (these things are literally always on my sticky note that’s glued on our mirror). I think just anything that will make me
feel better, everyday – because I always want to move myself towards something. I have made my plans for Feb-July 2014 but for the next two months, I really just want to focus on the things I want to do for myself. Setting goals can be exciting, but also exhausting and daunting. When you set goals, there is always the possibility for that dreaded word…failure. At first, it is important to set goals that you know you can achieve. (Moritz,Anna.2013)
Things I MIGHT want to remember years from now:
INC Film. Shooting galore.
Better to stop here. And oh, aside from the slight changes in this blog, I deleted a lot of my past posts. Just because anything that’s haunting you should be cleared right away. Actually, I deleted some people in my life already. Best to leave them in the past where they belong. (I hope not to delete ANYTHING in the future.)
We should stop chalking people’s silence and quietness and inability to choose to disinterest. Maybe they know their love for you is a blackhole they’ll never recover from and maybe you scare the mother loving shit out of them and maybe they’re distant because the emotional risk isn’t worth the plain but satisfying plateau of the unknown but hopeful. Maybe we resist the future because we actually do care, and we’re not just whimsical kids trying to live, but burgeoning adults trying to avoid ultimate failure.
The real possibility that things could go spiraling out of our control in the worst way possible. And sometimes our hopeful ignorance is a safe kind of bliss.
The only way to be certain of anything is to risk it even when doing so seems like it could end the very world we spin on, and seeing what happens from there. Pain is part of the process and fear a part of the story.
What matters is finding a way to be okay with the things that are a little messy at times, especially when the little mess is you. Annihilating yourself does not help the cause whatsoever.
Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances and never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.
It’s best to hate
everyone everything at first and then decide to be okay with a few people stuff eventually. ( Cats just innately do this and it’s honestly brilliant. )
“And be charming but detached and yet amused.” ? OH.
I stumbled upon this catchy scene and now it’s stuck in my head. Barbie songs really do make sense, don’t they? Julian and Erika from Barbie in The Princess and the Pauper (my favorite!) reminded me of how to live like a princess. I deleted the annoying lines and bolded the cute ones. haha.
No nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping,
Slurping, burping, twittering or frittering allowed.
Stay Present, stay pleasant, stay proud.
To be a princess
Is to know which spoon to use
To be a princess
Is to own a thousand pairs of shoes
To maintain a regal gait
Leave the parsley on your plate
And be charming but detached
And yet amused
To be a princess
Is to never be confused
Shoulders back and
Tummy in and
Pinky out and
Lift the chin and
Slowly turn the head from side to side
Never show a thing you feel inside
To be a princess
Is to always look your best
To be a princess
Is to never get to rest
Sit for a portrait, never squirm
Speak and be clever
Never at a loss for words
Curtsy to every count and lord
She has beautiful eyes
Your spirits rise
When she walks in the room
She’s like a rose
That’s forever in bloom
There’s a time and place and way for everything
To be a princess
Is to always use your head.
This song is really cute, but still my favorite one from this movie is If You Love Me For Me. Hmm, happy childhood. <3
Perfect girls aren’t real. Real girls aren’t perfect.
1. Endlessly playing Pachelbel’s Canon piano piece as a background music. Like I’ve been doing this for years now, it had never left my playlist. It can go on repeat for four straight hours. I usually end up teary-eyed (because hello, it is amazingly dramatic) but still, it is best to acknowledge your emotions unless you want them creeping you down in your dreams at night.
2. Manicure and pedicure. I love seeing them groomed. Why will you deprive yourself of something that will make you smile every 5 seconds? Especially your hands, they deserve love because you abuse them everyday (with the keyboard, guitar, dirty plates and laundry.).
3. Working out. Love your body, no one else will. I won’t let myself be so distraught by failed workout attempts that I’ll just to go to Mcdo. There are only two things in this world: reasons and results.
4. Constantly chasing the notes of my favorite piano pieces like Isisip’s compositions on Youtube. Too bad her music sheets aren’t free. Still, I will not stop learning those mysterious notes.
5. Of course I have my high days. I love playing my Bon Jovi, Queen, Beyonce and Pussycat Dolls playlists. Not to mention, I’ll sing and dance my hearts out, with a broom, inside my room.
6. Reading a perfectly-written book. You’ll know it if you’re holding a good one when in the midst of your reading you stop and say “Oh my God.” As for me, I become affected too easily. When there’s an instant connection, you’ll feel it. I still remember myself crying softly over Dekada ’70, Titser, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Alchemist, Eragon, and a lot more. Maybe I’m just too emotional, but yeah. Books are the best.
7. Shopping. You can’t blame me because when I shop, the world gets better. I’m not a hoarder, though.
8. I am always chilly, wherever there is an AC unit. On the bus, at the mall, at food chains. Being physically warm with someone (in the most civil way) or just with my trusted blankets brings out a genuine smile in me.
9. Whenever I’m told I am beautiful. “You are essentially perfect in every way. This is the highest level of physical attraction flattery I can possibly bestow on a woman and you deserve it, my queen.” (Author: unknown). Don’t call me hot. Thank you, but it’s more flattering to be appreciated because of my soul rather than my body.
10. Spending an hour alone at bookstores and with a special someone at SM’s Homeworld / department stores. I’m weird, I don’t want you to see me smelling the fragrant pages of the books my hands got onto. But if you’re with me, I let you smell them too. :>
11. Reading at Thought Catalog. I read like an hour or two every night, the articles keep me informed about MY reality. I love being reminded of how sick this world is, and that, I should be careful.
12. Browsing 9gag for 15 minutes. I really need to limit myself when it comes to this site, because once you’re in, it’s simply difficult to click that close button.
13. (Another) 15 minutes of my night life belongs to Weheartit. It’s good for my feminine soul.
14. Giving out small or big acts of kindness. I can’t count how this saved me from my bad days. When we give out to others, no matter how small, a part of your inner worth is uplifted. Talk to a friend whose heart got broken recently, send thank you and sorry notes, give roses. Let’s all go home with a happy heart.
15. Looking in the mirror and saying “Hmm. I look good with my bare face.” More makeup does not mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on. This is a long story, I will talk about this soon
16. Embracing the chaos. In this world you just have to have the faith that everything will work out to be fine. Trust God even when you don’t understand what’s happening. But it’s better if you already do.
17. Talking to Him. What more can I ask for after half an hour of talking to The One who loves me dearly? He gives enough wonders for my mental sanity.
This list goes on. I swear.
What’s your mental sanity-saver?
Buy a notebook. Write down what you want. Write down what hurts you. Show it to someone you love. Let it out. Right it in a piece of paper and then keep it in your old box so that you can save it for your children. Read them to your grandchildren in the future. Or burn it in your backyard. Either way, go to bed knowing that in some way, those things are out of your system, out of you. Your cluttered mind deserves a break. Your pillow will thank you.
This one’s for my best friend; I love him dearly. People might not have a deep understanding about what we are for each other, but we do. That’s what matters.
I’m happy tonight. God answered my fervent prayer for wisdom, just enough for the day to understand and accept EVERYTHING. I need to ponder on more things, but I’ll do those after this sleep.
Let’s all have a good night.
Life really wants to see how strong I can be.
Fine. Watch me.
Respect is maybe one of the hardest lessons I’ll ever learn this year. I’ve been asking for it and I know that it s not just given, it is earned. Thus, I’m practicing it, the art of giving one. No matter how hard, no matter how undeserving a person is.
Okay wait give me a sec Okay I’m back.
As I was typing, I stopped, prayed and cried. I feel better now. This whole thing had been too much for me, and I can’t believe how I allowed people to occupy so much of my emotions. Too toxic. I asked God for wisdom, strength and a broader understanding of the things happening around me. God will grant me that prayer. I have faith in Him.
Your love for something or someone will definitely put you into tears, the only question is if the pain is worth-having. Too much pain for now and I believe I don’t deserve any of these. I really don’t. However, they keep on coming in different kinds, maybe trying to knock me down. But no, I will never lose my sanity. I know myself more than anyone else, I will never settle for anything less than I deserve.
I’m sad and stressed, I need to balance my life. I shall close my doors to those people who aren’t contributing positively with my journey. This is my life, it’s either you’re with me or you’re not. I don’t need any part-time people who will just waste my time. I’ll go on. If you want to be with me, keep up or get lost.